Darling, darling...

I would not envy your position.

Your boss has presided over the biggest fiscal fuck-up for an awfully long time. You will be the scape-goat. Whatever pathetic measures you introduce will simply hurt those that so far have contributed to this problem. You are biting the hands that have fed you. It is obvious that the Tories will win the next election, but they really are getting served a pile of poo. They have not the wit to drag us out, the shit is too deep.

You will doubtless fall into a pit of in obscurity on a fat pension and a brush-over of events. I hope you choke on your eyebrows - some of us may be paying for your extended retirement.

Your speech at the Budget should begin with :-

"I am sorry to report to the House, that my time here has been pointless and that we have saddled tax payers with a decade of debt. It should be pointed out that my boss set the ball rolling years ago, but his position is seemingly now unassailable and thus the sword falls on me. Like McBride, I will now bow out after being "sacked " for Gorgon's catastrophic miscalculations for everything from the economy to public opinion. Gold was a great price at the time, eh?

So, we'll bung some on National Insurance, up VAT a bit and sit back and laugh as the new administration tries a spending cuts plan to make up the defecit. 'Cos that ain't gonna work either! I can laugh at them from my retirement home! I've been fucked here and I'm going to make sure my pockets are lined on my way out.

I'll raise a glass of dodgy porridge-wog whiskey to celebrate".

Lesson = don't trust Scotshmen.

Give Scotland back to the North Sea, where it belongs. Bunch of cunts, like Jacqui Smith.