Alcohol

Is apparently a depressant. And full of calories.

Odd that, I've had about 10 pints of Young's ordinary and I feel neither fat nor depressed. Allegedly, 10 pints is about 1900 calories and that is nearly half my daily recommended calorie intake. Why therefore am I happy and thin(ish)?

Upon leaving the pub this evening, there were several people who had imbibed their choice of beers and none of those seemed depressed. Only one could be considered fat - and even then, at a push - he's a brick shithouse who may be carrying a few extra pounds.

I have no doubt that the majority of the regulars tonight will leave after a good session; they will be happier and probably not fatter than when they first entered.

And they are all old enough to go home without trying to fight anything - they are builders, mechanics, plasterers, plumbers, roofers, pavers, heating engineers, electricians - and they all work their bollox off to be able to pay £3.53 for a pint of Carling.

Hard work has not yet vanished from this country. They are good people, working hard and contributing in the private sector. It's just a shame that their hard work is not reflected in the public sector.

And each and every one of them is not a cunt, like Jacqui Smith.