Myopia

I've been in Swine Town for a few days and made a glib comment on another forum about how the natives here are so carrot-crunchingly yokelish that they still point at aeroplanes.

On reflection, however, I remembered that Wootton Bassett is nearby and it may be that they are simply wondering what the cargo is in any of the countless military aircraft that pass overhead.


Still, that nice Mr Obama has pledged a further 30,000 American troops with a "clear military strategy" in a bid to bring down the Taliban quickly and once-and-for-all.

History teaches us many things - why is it that the decision makers always choose to ignore them?

Another one bites the rug - sorry, dust.

Soooo...

Matt's ex-"husband" has hanged himself. Tragic, I suppose, but not all together unsurprising. And definitely not a loss.

I can't help seeing a certain resemblance to another pile of foetid self-loving, desperately-seeking-continued stardom; the asset to humanity they call Russell Brand.

Now, what poofs what to do in their own quarters is entirely up to them - each to their own - but what this case seems to highlight is the "spotlight" is what they crave the most. This trait is by no means limited to pink-oboe players, you only have to look at a red-top to see the sordid unravelling of grubby details some are prepared to disclose in order to keep column inches.

And why is this? The simple answer is that "celebrity" is what far too big a portion of this fucked-up country aspire to. And why do they aspire to this? Simple - it's all they have. They are poorly educated, unemployable sofa-surfers that think everything that is piped down the TV cable or beamed to the satellite dish is gospel. Their education and life-experiences to date are so shambolic that even they - the mongest of the mongs - realise that their only escape is to become one of the fucktards they ogle at whilst munching their KFCs and supping on wife-beater or White Lightning.

ALL newspapers now have a duty to off-load the celebrity adoration and start printing stories that may, in the fullness of time, lead to the youth of today seeking a more worthwhile route than being the subject of an 0870 phone-in poll.

ALL TV stations now must put on more David Attenborough and less Jeremy Kyle.

And ALL those who think celebrity is the ultimate goal should go for it. And then hang themselves when it all goes wrong. You won't be missed.

Hear, hear!

I think this sums it up just perfectly.

Old Holborn nails it

Enough now

From the on-line comic, LabourLost, a propsal that we should carry cards in order to purchase tobacco and booze.

http://www.labourlist.org/drinkers-licences-a-radical-new-way-to-curb-excess-cowan

FUCK OFF. JUST FUCK RIGHT OFF YOU IMBECILIC FUCK-WITTED SCABBY CUNT PUSTULES.

H/T to OH

When Marketeers fuck up...

Oh dear, Young's. You really, really, should pay more attention to the small print in your offers.

So far I personally must have had over £50 worth of free booze and I have given countless vouchers to the pensioners who don't have computers or printers. The £11 or so they save each day now means that most of them can afford proper food, as opposed to living off out-of-date smoked haddock and cat food.

Hell, some of them may even be able to take their cardigans to the launderette now and although I may miss the musty smell and the unique stain patterns, the look on their wrinkly faces when they come in all spruced up will be worth it.

For this public service, Young's, we salute you.

"Underlying Health Problems"

The vast majority of those that have died from swine flu have all, allegedly, had "underlying health problems".

That's probably true.

But why on earth haven't they told us what these problems were? How are we meant to try and judge how dangerous this virus is, unless we know how ill you have to be in the first place for it to be a real worry. If they had rabies, lung cancer, double pneumonia, malaria, ebola or something like that then I would think "fine, they were probably going pop their cork anyway".

But what if they only had a bit of mild asthma? Or athletes foot? Or hay-fever? I would certainly start being a bit more concerned if that were the case.

So why the secrecy? Or is it a conscious decision to keep the full facts at bay as long as possible to avoid potential panic?

They are very quick to ram fuck-witted advice like "Catch it, bin it, kill" down our throats and send Janet and John leaflets to all and sundry, but this is typical of this administration - being seen to be doing something whilst all the time they simply don't have a clue about the real issues. Just look at the economy, for example.

I have no doubt that someone in my immediate family will contract the virus - it would just be nice to know whether I am more likely to buy them a box of tissues and some Lockets, or a wooden casket.

'Snot too much to ask, is it?


Oh - I forgot, it's this government I'm talking about; truth, honesty and decency are alien concepts to the stinking pile of squalid, rancid cuntwafts.

Scotland

Five days up near the Firth of Forth or Fifth of Forth or whatever it's called.

Natives most pleasant even if there is a high incidence of some form of physical and/or mental palsy. Is there a chemical works near here? Has there been some sort of ongoing leakage?

Splendid breakfasts and food generally, booze a lot cheaper than Surrey and the the vast majority the mongnatives have great senses of humour and sharp minds.

How, then, can this be the country responsible for unleashing the likes of Bruin and Darling - to name but two - into Westminster to utterly fist-fuck the entire economy?

I shall ponder that whilst I tuck into some Haggis Patties rolled in Pinhead Oatmeal.