...and sharing a flat with a mate.
1. Two rolls of toilet paper last two weeks. Previously, four would last less than one week. And I can't really blame the daughter as she is in boarding school from Monday to Friday.
2. The washing machine is not permanently on. See "1" as again the daughter cannot be held accountable. In fact, the washing is on twice per week - once when my flatmate does his and once when I do mine.
3. Nor is the tumble dryer. See 1 and 2, above.
4. The bath remains clean and not as slippery as sheet ice, due to the fact that no perfumed oils or other such shite are hermetically sealed to it as a result of men preferring quick showers and proper soap.
5. Razors remain mine.
6. I am no longer awoken at 7am by the drone of a hairdryer and accompanying muttering about "frizz".
7. All my tools remain where I left them.
8. The TV now shows documentaries and the news or some sport. Not soaps. Or reality TV shite generally emanating from America.
9. Being awoken by snoring has ceased...
10... As has the 2.30am request to get a glass of water...
Gerald Kaufman Dead
4 hours ago