A day in the Sun

We had a fun time and a few beers.

Badgerbeer and tourist entertainment.

This could be a long, hot summer. I can't wait.

Another tale from the pub

I am starting to take a liking to some of the "young'uns" in the boozer.

Today we had Stuart, the manic Heating Technician (read glorified plumber) whose demeanour has always led me to believe that he is either on speed, or just generally hyper.

He didn't go to a great school in the area, but his father taught him that he needed to up his game if he wanted a better life. So after leaving this school with a smattering of poor GCSEs (whatever they are) he did a five year course on becoming a heating engineer. He passed and now works for a a fairly well known company - at he age of 28ish, he is earning about £40k. Pretty good money and he has earned the right for it. Good lad.

He has guaranteed work until 2012 - and that is because his company has secured a deal to refurbish heating systems for London Councils. Safe money, but flat rate and no perks.

The tales he has told me today of the scum he has to deal with makes me shudder - and explains his nervous disposition.

All council houses. All expecting a full new system that would cost you or I about £5,500. And they expect it. And then they want him to paint the boxing-in to match their bathrooms. And call him a cunt when he won't. He attends properties that are inhabited by drug dealers, part-time prostitutes, people who shout at him for turning up at 9am (the agreed time) saying they were still in bed, places with doors kicked-in because the "ex" came round last night as is probably going to come back today and finish her off, coke-snorters with kids running around, crack-pipes hidden behind radiators, knives sellotaped to the back of front door.

And they all expect this work.

He now makes the point - "What the fuck is my tax being spent on? - these people are utter scum who don't deserve these freebies. "

For once, I find myself agreeing with a 28 year-old.

Caption Contest

Industrious worker in Downing Street shocker

One down...

This little piggy went home

Well, it's a start.

Swine Flu

I'm getting a bit fed up with the radio announcements stating that the pig flu virus can survive for hours on the buttons in lifts.

Here's an idea - use the fucking stairs. Most people could do with the exercise in the first place, it's a win-win; less viral transmission and the lard-arses will lose weight to boot.

Amen.

Pterodactyls, Sat-Navs and Weever fish

Being unemployed, after hours of trawling the internet for jobs, I tend to partake of a few in a certain Young's pub. Normally, there are two people there other than me. One is retired and a keen horse-racing gambler, thus he watches C4 or ATR. We exchange pleasantries. The other is a friend of his, who takes a liquid lunch. It's all very civil and generally quiet.

Some days, though, the "boys" get in early - they may be plumbers, sparks, roofers - whatever. Today, Ian the plumber came in and he is good value. After the usual hellos, he started to talk about the Herons on the park nearby. I nodded quietly whilst trying to think of the tricky resolution to 7 down in my crossword when he uttered "They sound just like Pterodactyls". I left a decent pause and asked "Have you heard a Pterodactyl then?"

"Yes. On a David Attenborough program". I fell off the bar stool.

I know Dave's knocking on, but fer fucksake...when I picked myself up off the floor, he gurned at me and then launched into the giant Jellyfish, shown in some papers today. He relayed a story of when he was younger and living in Cornwall, he scooped up a jellyfish in his swimming mask, then released it then put the mask back on. Then couldn't see when his eyes suddenly turned into pools of acid. He now is somewhat more wary of the sea. I mentioned the Weever fish to him and he simply went white and left. I don't think his kids will be paddling in Eastbourne any time soon.

Then Neil the grumpy Surveyor came in. Always a good laugh and merely bronze-medal grumpy. In a strop because his trip to Hounslow took so long - he's not used to travelling that far into London. I enquired which route he took - at which point he brought out his 1982 A-Z and started flicking through lightly thumbed pages. I suggested he bought a Sat-Nav - he does, after all drive a Volvo. The tirade that ensued was epic. Suffice to say, he doesn't trust them or this "new technology" - which was quite odd as he was tapping away on his BlackBerry to find out his appointments for tomorrow. I told him he could use the maps function on his Blackberry, rather than buy a Sat-Nav.

"Fuck right off, cuntbubble" was his reply.

It is heartening that such people are still out there. And I wouldn't swap them for anything.

Report the cunt

For fuck's sake, I've been unemployed since August and I couldn't claim this, despite being a more productive part of society - even unemployed...

Jacqui idiot sponging cunt

There's more....(edited about 10.45, after a bottle of red)

Gordon Brown claimed back £6,000 after paying his brother for cleaning at his Westminster flat, it has been reported.

Jack Straw used his expenses to claim back the entire council tax on his second home despite already having a 50% discount on it.

Ms Blears claimed for expenditure on three different properties during the period including a hotel where she stayed after selling a Manchester home.

Anna Raccoon with yet another fabulous post.

http://www.annaraccoon.com/madeleine-mccann/paedophiles-and-pedants-1873.html

and a video worth watching, too

http://www.annaraccoon.com/madeleine-mccann/the-documentary-they-didnt-want-you-to-see-1855.html